CONTENTS: (The videos with two stars – ★★ – are required viewing for certification, and those with one star are highly recommended. For NeuroCoach students who want to work with issues related to post-traumatic stress, you are required to enroll in the comprehensive Trauma-Centered NeuroCoach course. This $1497 certification program is available to my students for $497. Please email Oriel@MarkRobertWaldman for a full description of the course contents.)
Introduction
★★ Video #1: How Your Brain Reinvents the Past to Predict a Positive Future 12-15-22
★★ Video #2: False beliefs, alternative therapies, & the power of placebo 1-5-23
★★ Video #3a: What, Exactly, is a Memory? 8-8-23
★★ Video #3b: Dissolving Habitual Beliefs About Memories & Trauma 8-10-23
★★ Video #3c: Why Most Trauma Strategies are Ineffective & Potentially Harmful 8-15-23
★★ Video #4: Stumbling Toward Enlightenment: Two NeuroCoach Demonstration Sessions 8-18-23
Video #5: The Art & Science of Asking Questions, Part One 10-17-23
Video #6: The Art & Science of Asking Questions, Part Two 11-21-23
Class 1: “Dropping” into Awareness
Class 2: “Who Am I?” False Memories, Cognitive Biases, & Trauma
Class 3: Irrational Beliefs: How do I Identify and Change Them?
Class 4: The Boy Who Was Stabbed in the Stomach
Class 5: The Bullied Girl Who Fought Back
Class 6: Tracing Mental States from Ancient Greece to the DSM-5 to Network Neuroscience
Class 7: Borderline “Personalities” and the Problem with DSM Labels
Class 8 – Building Your Tree of Life & Values
Class 9 – What Would a Brain-based Psychology Look Like?
Class 10 – What Would a Brain-based Psychology Look Like?
Bonus Class 11: The Runaway Who Became a Powerful Financier
Bonus Class 12: The Murderer in Your Brain
Video #7: Elliott — Money, Trauma, & Victim Mentality 10-18-2016
Video #8: Alison — “I Wish I Wasn’t Born” 10-29-16
Video #9: Eric, Session 1 — A Traumatic Car Accident 4-22-16
Video #10: Eric, Session 2 — Financial Trauma 4-28-16
Video #11: Carmen — How Trauma Suppresses Aspirations and Dreams 8-2-16
Video #12: Alton, Session 1 — Severe Combat PTSD 8-9-16
Video #13: Alton, Session 2 — Working Through Parent-Child Traumas 8-17-16
Video #14: Save-A-Warrior Foundation with Michael Hofrath 12-17-16
Downloads
NeuroCoach Protocols for Personal Development and Trauma
Memory Reconsolidation – Le Doux 2013
5-LeDoux MANIPULATING MEMORY – Reconsolidation
LeDoux Higher Order Theory of Emotional Consciousness.pdf
Memory Reconsolidation Understood and Misunderstood
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
When I first created this NeuroCoach training program, I assembled this module because some clients, when they entered into a state of “Relaxed Mindful Awareness”, would spontaneously bring up strong emotional feelings associated with past painful experiences. I, along with the majority of the psychotherapy community, believed that traumatic memories could be stored in the brain and recalled with a large degree of accuracy. New brain scan research in the field of network neuroscience has shown that memories aren’t actually stored anywhere in the brain. Instead, there are “memory traces” that are being constantly reconstructed within the Imagination/Default Network, and which are used to solve current problems. In essence, our brain continually reinvents the past to predict a positive future.
My Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching protocol hasn’t changed, but the realization that the memories we are recalling are largely imaginative has profound ramifications for both coaches and clients. Knowing that the “memory” is a continually evolving process – molecular changes in synapses – gives the client freedom to play with their remembrances in a more creative way. Now, when a client desires to explore a past traumatic experience, I encourage them to become aware of how the recalled “scenes” are constantly shifting. I also explain that it isn’t the past event that is disturbing them. Rather, it is the way we are reacting to a current emotional disturbance which may or may not have anything to do with the past event.
As NeuroCoaches, it is important to point out that there is no such thing as a “repressed memory” that needs to be uncovered or released in order to improve psychological health. However, it is not our job as coaches to either confirm nor deny the reality of traumatic experiences, especially those that occur in childhood. Those memory traces tend to be the most accurate, and in cases of PTSD, the most inflexible.
Even though it was proven in the 1990s that repressed memories do not exist, the notion that there are forgotten events that have been pushed out of consciousness remains a powerful urban myth. Here, for example, is the opening sentence in an article published in the International Journal of Psychoanalysis:
It is in the nature of trauma to elude knowledge, both because of deficit and defense. Massive trauma cannot be grasped because there are neither words nor categories of thought adequate to its representation; knowledge of trauma is also fiercely defended against, as it poses a momentous threat to psychic integrity. (Laub D, Auerhahn NC. Knowing and not knowing massive psychic trauma: forms of traumatic memory. Int J Psychoanal. 1993 Apr;74 (Pt 2):287-302.)
Freud, along with Janet and Charcot, created the concept of repressed memories, and it dominated therapeutic and law enforcement practices until the 1990s when the work of Elizabeth Loftus demonstrated how false memories could be created in a client’s or victim’s mind. Over the last few years, the notion of repressed childhood memories of sexual abuse and trauma has re-emerged, becoming the focus of many dramatic documentaries and media stories.
Trying to understand what constitutes a traumatic event has been problematic for decades, and in the 1980s, when the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association created the term “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” (PTSD), controversy immediately broke out. Definitions and diagnostic criteria went through many revisions, the most important one being a clear distinction between a “stressful event” and a traumatic experience:
“Not all stressful events involve trauma. The DSM-5 definition of trauma requires “actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence”. Stressful events not involving an immediate threat to life or physical injury such as psychosocial stressors [4] (e.g., divorce or job loss) are not considered trauma in this definition…. Medically based trauma is now limited to sudden catastrophe such as waking during surgery or anaphylactic shock. Non-immediate, non-catastrophic life-threatening illness, such as terminal cancer, no longer qualifies as trauma, regardless of how stressful or severe it is. Medical incidents involving natural causes, such as a heart attack, no longer qualify.” (Pai, Anushka et al. “Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in the DSM-5: Controversy, Change, and Conceptual Considerations.” Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland) vol. 7,1 7. 13 Feb. 2017)
In other words, the vast majority of disturbing events that most people experience in life would not be considered traumatic.
Another breakthrough discovery was made by Joseph LeDoux: Whenever a disturbing memory trace is consciously recalled, it becomes unstable and can easily be altered when reconsolidated into synaptic storage. The newest research on memory formation, recall, and reconsolidation also demonstrates that nearly 85% of remembered events from the past are not accurate. Each time we consciously remember something – painful or pleasurable – the contents of that recollection changes and replaces the previous recollection.
The most important discovery emerged with the development of Diffusion Tensor Imaging that can map the axons that bundle together in specific networks that carry out different neurological functions. When a strong emotional experience occurs, a learning process takes place involving the amygdala, hippocampus, and the Salience Network. The information that is formed is sent to the Default Network and this is where memory traces are used to help us navigate the world in the present moment. If a memory trace is not used or consciously recalled, it rapidly deteriorates, and this helps to explain why most disturbing experiences fade away. When memory traces are used by the Default Network to predict a future outcome, or when our conscious decision-making processes of the Central Executive Network recall a memory trace, it becomes unstable and is then reconstructed with the experiences that are happening in the present moment. The new memory trace now includes new information and is reconsolidated into a new synaptic connection, awaiting the next time it is called upon.
This has profound ramifications for the strategies we use to reduce a person’s propensity to ruminate on negative feelings and thoughts. With the exception of genuine PTSD symptoms (nightmares, uncontrollable thoughts, feelings, flashbacks, etc.), any coaching or therapeutic approach that encourages a person to recall past events – along with the false belief that this is essential for healing – can actually generate more emotional turmoil for the client who may now have the belief that there may be more hidden memories or unresolved issues stemming from past events.
New brain scan studies also call into question many of the theories of alternative practices like EMDR and somatic experiencing. They are still effective, but not for the reasons stated. For example, the autonomic nervous system is not involved in post-traumatic stress, and memories are not stored in the body, or anywhere else in the brain.
Network neuroscience changes everything we thought we knew about how the human brain functions, and it gives us a new set of tools that can help a person to briefly experience optimal psychological health during a mutually empathetic dialogue grounded in the neuroscience of effective communication. Those are the tools that we have been developing over the past two decades that have grown out of my and Andy Newberg’s brain scan research.
When I created the contents for this module, which I used to call “Working with Traumatic Memories”, the research on memory reconsolidation processes and brain networks had not been deeply understood in the neuroscience research community. This is why I chose to create a separate training course in Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching, and which I encourage all of you to purchase. It has 40 new videos that are not in this program, covering the latest research on the instability of all memories and how to clearly distinguish PTSD from milder forms of emotional distress. Many of the new case-history videos illustrate the new way I work with trauma-related issues and why it’s important to discourage a client from seeking “repressed memories”, a concept that was fully discredited in the 1990s but has reemerged as a highly popular urban myth.
When watching the case-history videos below, keep in mind that many of the perspectives and theories presented are partially inaccurate. For example: The erroneous belief that traumatic events are encoded into stable memories that accurately reflect the original emotional disturbance. Here is my current perspective on the key processes to integrate into your work with others, following the basic protocols outlined in the Lesson 2 videos.
“Each time you retrieve a memory it becomes a new memory .. New information gets incorporated in the memory and that’s what the person remembers. The bottom line is that our memory is only as good as our last memory.”
Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching strategies can be easily modified, and when they are incorporated into other therapy and coaching models, you will see greater change and effectiveness. I recommend that you practice these strategies with other students – without using other techniques – before you apply them to paying clients. And if you desire to work with clients struggling with painful experiences associated with past events, you should take the new course I created. It has helped a lot of my students to feel more comfortable working with very difficult issues.
And remember: We cannot assume that another person’s “memory” or belief or emotional experience is true or false. Memory processes are not designed to be accurate; they are used to solve problems that are unfolding in the present moment so that we can more easily achieve desired goals. To assume that a memory only reflects a past event is to ignore and undermine the creative processes that are essential post-traumatic growth.
Mindfully Yours,
Mark Waldman
Beginning in 1991, new research led by Joseph LeDoux and others began to show that traumatic memories could be disrupted and “reconsolidated” in a way that could permanently reduce the disturbing feelings that a person associates with the original painful event. In one of LeDoux’s experiments, when a rat pushed a lever in cage, it would receive an unpleasant electrical shock that would form a specific memory trace that could be identified and observed in the rat’s brain. The rat quickly learned to avoid the lever. LeDoux then changed the setup: if the rat pushed the same lever, it would be rewarded with a tasty morsel of food, triggering the release of dopamine that would override the learned aversion that associated the lever with pain. The rat quickly lost any fear, and the memory trace of the prior negative event was extinguished. LeDoux conducted a similar experiment with humans, and although the memory of the electrical shock could be recalled, there was no measurable emotional reaction. His work has transformed the way neuroscientists think about memory formation, recall, and reconsolidation, and in this video, he eloquently describes the new model.
At first LeDoux was looking for a drug-based way to interrupt the recall and reconsolidation process, but recently he has been exploring ways to modify current strategies for reducing the emotional impact of trauma. In this video he explains an adaptation to exposure therapy, which is currently considered to be a highly effective form of treatment:
Another recognized strategy is Eye Mobilization Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. Many peer reviewed studies demonstrate its effectiveness, but the underlying principle of “bilateral brain stimulation” (moving one’s eyes, alternating the tapping of one’s arms, or holding a device that alternates pulses to each hand) has been invalidated. Still the multi-step protocol is effective even when the visual/tactile stimulation is excluded. The most important element that leads to post-traumatic growth is the mutual empathy that develops between therapist/coach and client. This video provides an excellent example of empathic rapport and is one of the best examples showing how an EMDR session unfolds:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2ra8p4MSOk
Other alternative approaches like EFT also use similar EMDR strategies including tapping, repetition, and rating the intensity of the emotional reaction. Some studies show a degree of effectiveness, but the concepts of “energy flows” and meridians have been discredited and are now considered pseudoscience. When you watch video examples of these energy psychology approaches, you’ll see a more mechanical approach with far less warmth than is displayed in the EMDR video above.
Similar criticism can be directed toward somatic therapies, most of which are based on van der Kolk’s popular book The Body Keeps the Score because they are based on a fundamental misunderstanding that memories are permanent and can be stored in the body. The synapses between nerves in the body do not contain the protein molecules that are essential for the formation of memory traces. Nerve cells in the body are entirely different from those in the brain, and they do not have the properties of neuroplasticity that allow synapses to change. The body doesn’t keep score, but your imagination does!
What about the practice of traditional mindfulness training approaches for trauma recovery, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy? Are they effective? A 2015 systematic review of 12 clinical studies “indicated positive outcomes with improvements in PTSD symptoms, particularly in reducing avoidance” but the improvements were small and did not affect many of the other neurological systems involved with higher cognitive functions. However, by focusing on the mindfulness practices of meta-awareness – observing mind-wandering and directing one’s attention to present-moment experiences – moderate to robust improvements could be made in regulating emotional distress and reducing post-traumatic stress.
In summary, as LeDoux and Panksepp have shown, there are “bottom up” instinctual responses such as memory formation and consolidation that influence one’s thoughts, feelings, imagination, and behavior, and there are “top-down” processes where we can use our mind to suppress or redirect our emotional responses, be they real or imaginary. And as the most recent research shows, deliberate forgetting – choosing not to recall past events – is an essential element to facilitate post-traumatic growth, and searching for “repressed” or forgotten memories appears to make problems worse.
Here’s what’s important to remember: The moment you recall any memory, it becomes unstable and can easily be altered by our creative imagination (the Default Network) and by activating our Salience Network through Relaxed Mindful Awareness. for a period of time. How you think, how you react, and what you do during that unstable moment will either strengthen the memory or weaken it.
Creating an incongruent experience while recalling any strong feeling associated with a past painful event plays a key role in altering or extinguishing the memory trace. Simply put, the client engages in an activity that is utterly incongruent with the original experience. Elements of the incongruent activity – and any new insights that can be intuitively discerned – will become integrated into a new memory trace.
In the NeuroCoaching protocol, I emphasize the activities of relaxation and mindfulness during the recall process, but I also use pleasure as the main form of incongruity because it is the opposite of pain. In LeDoux’s rat experiment, it was the experience of the pleasure of eating that extinguished the fear-conditioned memory trace. It is a form of neurological and cognitive dissonance, and is one of the gentlest ways to interrupt intrusive negative feelings and thoughts.
However, for some people who have experienced physical abuse, the gentle stroking of one’s skin can actually trigger a powerful negative feeling. However, in my experience, stroking and squeezing a soft object – a pillow, blanket, or stuffed animal has never evoked a negative reaction. So, when a particularly painful feeling emerges, have your client cuddle a soft object. It is essential to have your client slow down the recollection process – in brief segments of 10-30 seconds – as you help them to mindfully observe the negative parts and to deeply savor the positive moments, however brief. As the client talks, pause the recollection process after a few sentences, bring them back into the present moment with mindful yawning, stretching, soothing touch, and focusing on a deep inner value. Ask your client if they can bring up any insights, and then ask them if they “feel the need” to envision another “scene” of the painful incident. Often, a client will only need to explore a few brief scenes to extinguish any current emotional reaction. This “memory disruption & reconsolidation” process only needs to take place over a 10 to15-minute period, so keep asking your client if they intuitively feel the desire to stop.
When working with active PTSD, a more comprehensive educational approach needs to be taken, allowing only a few seconds of emotional disturbance to unfold before returning to present-moment experiences. This strategy is fully discussed in the Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching course.
When a prospective client requests a session, my information sheet includes this question: “What are the 3 most traumatic events in your life?” This helps me to be aware of past difficulties that spontaneously emerge during the session, but I want to emphasize this point: I do NOT ask the client if they want to explore any specific event from the past. Remember, also, that post-traumatic growth, according to the vast majority of network neuroscience studies, only occurs through the practice of meta-awareness: developing the skill of describing one’s mind-wandering process from a deeply relaxed state of mindful awareness, coupled with the skill of bringing oneself fully into the present moment and describing that state of awareness to a trusted individual.
Research shows that nearly one in four people have experienced some form of moderate to severe trauma in their lives, but the research also shows that only 0.5% of those people will develop PTSD. And for those that do, half will recover within six months (Rosellini, A J et al. “Recovery from DSM-IV post-traumatic stress disorder in the WHO World Mental Health surveys.” Psychological medicine vol. 48,3 (2018): 437-450).
Notice! The videos in this program are for online streaming only. Downloading the videos to your local device is prohibited.
This presentation explains how traumatic experiences are turned into “remembrances” that are constantly being changed by three key Networks in your brain. A “memory” begins as a learning experience the moment we have a powerful emotion – positive or negative. It is then transformed into dozens of “memory traces” that are stored in the imagination center of your brain, and is then constantly revised to help us solve problems occurring in the present moment. I’ll give you experiential examples of how your Default Network is like an orchestra conductor, and how each musician plays a different “instrument” – a piece of memory – that is turned into a symphony of feelings that continually reshapes our conscious experience of life.
When it comes to the traditional trauma-centered therapies like EMDR, Trauma-Focused CBT, exposure therapy, can “Relaxed Mindful Awareness” and the unique Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching protocols improve them? And what about alternative forms like Somatic Experiencing, EFT/Tapping, hypnosis, yoga, deep breathing, and positive imagery? Why has the research found them less effective and potentially harmful? This is a brief summary of some of the latest research.
A “memory” is nothing more than a unique collection of protein molecules circulating in the synapse between axons and dendrites, and they are continually rearranged when your Default/Imagination Network recalls them to help solve problems occurring in the present moment. If they are not used, they decay. That synapse filled with memory proteins is like a lava lamp: Unstable shape-shifting blobs moving around in a glass container (the synapse). Here is a fairly accurate video clip of molecules being released into the synaptic cleft, with some of them absorbed into a dendrite where the information is then transmitted through the neuron and passed onto others:
Another metaphor would be like looking into a pot of boiling water: The water is cerebral spinal fluid, and the bubbles represent memory proteins, memory-stabilizing proteins, and enzymes that dissolve them. Turn off the stove, and the bubbles dissolve back into the water. Turning the stove back on is similar to your brain learning something new. Different bundles of bubbles (memory traces) appear and replace the old ones.
A memory is not a thing; it’s more like a river. You know what a river looks like, but you are never seeing the same flow of water the same way. If you scoop up a handful of that water, you know that you are not holding a river in your hands. When you remember something (a Default/Imagination process), you are not seeing a past memory. You are capturing a new creative construction filled with pieces of images, sounds, feelings and thoughts.
Your beliefs – the assumptions you value and consider true – appear to be the most difficult memory traces to extinguish, which is why most people will continue to have erroneous beliefs about the existence of traumatic memories. In this presentation, I’ll share with you some of the latest research showing how our Learning Network creates temporary memory traces in our Default Network that have little to do with the actual event that we experience. We’ll also explore why false beliefs are strengthened when a person is presented with accurate information. This is known as “belief regression” and the “backfire effect.”
Joni, a student who had enrolled in my Trauma-Centered NeuroCoach course, requested a session with me because she found herself filled with daily anxiety – about her work, financial insecurity, making decisions, trusting herself … everything – as she began to review the materials in Week #6, “The History & Neuroscience of Memory Research”. She wanted to know what was triggering her.
On her information sheet, described many years of experiencing physical violence from her father growing up with her family: “If one of us broke something, he would line up all of us kids and beat us with a bat, even the 4-year-old. My father would sometimes knock me out, and I’d wake up bleeding and in severe pain. He also beat my mom, sometimes holding her at knife point, and once, when I asked him to stop hurting her, he returned with a gun and pointed it at my face.” She had been sexually assaulted by her brother, and had been hospitalized for various physical and emotional problems.
Although never diagnosed with PTSD, she had gone through many nontraditional approaches including EMDR, EFT, and a variety of discredited therapies. Before viewing this session, I’d like you to take a moment and ask yourself how you would begin working with her. Do you think she has PTSD? Do you think her current anxiety, which emerged after watching me work with one of my students, are possibly connected to unresolved past traumatic experiences? If so, you would not be following the NeuroCoach principles, especially in light of the vast amount of neuroscientific research showing that there is no such thing as an unresolved experience, traumatic or otherwise.
The session began with her sharing how much value she was getting from the trauma course, when suddenly she choked up in tears and started to talk about the event with her father and the gun. This is where the recording begins, and you’ll notice that I immediately interrupt her narrative, asking her to take a moment and to let the feelings of grief flow through her. You’ll see that I’ll continue to interrupt her every time she says more than a couple of sentences, which is the opposite of what other trauma therapists would do. This is why it is essential to explain how memories are present-moment creative expressions and why one needs to speak only a sentence or two, to pause and observe their thoughts and feelings for a few seconds, and then to pull oneself back into the present moment with yawning, movement, and self-nurturing touch.
Until a client recognizes that they are trying to “process” an experience based on outdated popular strategies that incorrectly assume that memories are real, emotional growth and insights will not occur. But how do you give them an experiential example that will help them grasp the fluidity of memory processing? You’ll see the profound changes that take place when Joni sees the slide videos that are in Video 3a, above, and how valuable she found the two quotes from Kandel and LeDoux. That’s why I encourage you to use those slides with your clients and students, and to share them in presentations with as many people as possible. A Trauma-Centered NeuroCoaching session needs to be both experiential and educational, and the best way to master these skills is to teach it to others and to share your process with a streaming partner.
The latest meta-analytic research, published in highly respected peer-reviewed journals, shows that the effectiveness most traditional psychotherapies barely beat placebo, and that after 6-12 months, those who did not seek treatment for anxiety (which is the major reason most people seek help) showed the same improvements as those who were in therapy. And when it comes to working with trauma, both traditional and alternative approaches can actually be harmful. This presentation will also include some of the latest research showing that meta-awareness training is essential for promoting post-traumatic growth, and the importance of checking the H-Index to identify which journals are reputable. Please download the slide collection, below, and review the 20 additional that may be of value to you.
In this presentation, two students – Grace, a highly experienced Trauma-Centered NeuroCoach, and Heather, a new practitioner – volunteer to work with personal issues that have haunted them for years. However, as a NeuroCoach, I try – as best as possible – to interact with my clients as spontaneously as possible, and I deliberately try not to follow any theoretical model. It means that you will never feel certain about what you are doing or if you are being helpful. Here is the guideline I follow before I begin a session with a client:
No two sessions are the same, and as you watch these sessions, you’ll notice how your own imagination would push you to take the conversation in different directions than the one I chose. No direction is necessarily better or worse than another, as long as you continually return to the present moment to encourage your client to explore where their intuition wants to go.
This video and the following one serve two purposes. The first is to provide you with an experiential understanding of where your questions come from, along with a new strategy for answering them. Second, when it comes to the radically new perspectives surrounding disturbing memories and post-traumatic growth, your clients and students will have many questions, especially when the information challenges long-held beliefs. As a NeuroCoach, you should teach your clients and students how to first use their intuition when seeking answers before you provide them with the latest neuroscientific evidence to help them disrupt old beliefs that actually interfere with the brain’s self-healing processes.
From the perspective of network neuroscience, your Imagination/Default Network is constantly formulating “what-if” questions about the best way to proceed in reaching pleasurable and rewarding goals. So how do you evaluate which ones are essential and which are not? And since the question-generating part of your brain is nonverbal, how can you clearly articulate them to another person? One very effective solution is to verbalize your question in 20 words or less.
But any answer you get from someone else is often less valuable than the whispers you can get from your intuitive Salience Network. And when seeking advice from others, or giving advice, use your intuition – your Salience Network – when exploring possible answers and solutions that are not based upon your or another person’s habituated beliefs. Of course, you’ll need to be able to enter into a deep state of “Relaxed Mindful Awareness” to access this critical region of the brain. This presentation will help you become more efficient in asking the RIGHT questions, and I’ll also guide you through an experiential exercise on “Change Blindness” to demonstrate how selective our attention is and why we can never recall the past in any detail. The presentation concludes with the latest evidence explaining why it is important to NOT explore past traumatic experiences.
When it comes to the newest discoveries on how network neuroscience challenges our beliefs about memories, trauma, and psychological health, many questions will come to mind. But how can we use our brain’s intuitive processing to answer them in a deeply meaningful way? In this presentation, we’ll also explore how our feelings interrupt our ability to remain in the present moment, and how curiosity and playfulness are essential for promoting emotional psychological health.
(You’ll find videos in this program on your Membership Content page. Email Oriel@MarkRobertWaldman.com if you have difficulty locating them)
I highly recommend that you study these videos closely because current neuroscience research challenges the very foundation of traditional psychology and personal-development coaching.
Class 1: “Dropping” into Awareness
Class 2: “Who Am I?” False Memories, Cognitive Biases, & Trauma
Class 3: Irrational Beliefs: How do I Identify and Change Them?
Class 4: The Boy Who Was Stabbed in the Stomach
Class 5: The Bullied Girl Who Fought Back
Class 6: Tracing Mental States from Ancient Greece to the DSM-5 to Network
Class 7: Borderline “Personalities” and the Problem with DSM Labels
Class 8 – Building Your Tree of Life & Values
Class 9 – What Would a Brain-based Psychology Look Like?
Class 10 – What Would a Brain-based Psychology Look Like?
Bonus Class 11: The Runaway Who Became a Powerful Financier
Bonus Class 12: The Murderer in Your Brain
Please Note: The following videos were created in 2016, long before I came across the newest research showing that memories are not accurate representations of past traumatic events, and that asking a client to look for repressed memories (a concept that was fully discredited in 1991) and recalling them in a therapeutic session can actually cause more harm than good. But many of my students have found great value in these early sessions and have proven to be very effective helping others. NeuroCoaching strategies are easily adaptable, and when integrated into current therapeutic and coaching models – even those that have been labeled pseudoscience – the sessions become more effective, especially if you focus on the two essential strategies of building mutual empathic rapport (using the Compassionate Communication strategies described in Lesson 3) and teaching your client how to rapidly shift between observing one’s mind-wandering process and simultaneously becoming exquisitely aware of present-moment experiences
On Elliott’s information sheet, he specifically wanted to improve his financial situation, taking charge of his life and not feeling like a victim, and “releasing old beliefs and trauma” especially relating to physical and emotional abuse from his father. He wrote: “I get really down on myself when things don’t go my way, and I constantly have a lack of confidence, becoming hypervigilant any time I feel threatened. against any form of threat.” On the surface, this might indicate post-traumatic stress, but as a NeuroCoach you should never assume that there is a past traumatic experience causing such emotional discomfort, and when a person requesting a “release from old beliefs and trauma,” it is safe to assume that the idea came from other coaches or social media. Here’s what Elliott also included on his form:
“I have been on this mission ever since I can remember to somehow fix myself. Since early on as a child I was made to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with me, and so I engaged in all types of self-improvement programs, spiritual practices, retreats, online programs, meditation programs, certain therapies, books, seminars, etc. But I haven’t been able to locate the root cause of my unhappiness, sadness, depression, which has really frustrated me.”
As a NeuroCoach, your challenge will be how to dispel the belief that there is a “root cause”, a Freudian notion that has been discredited since 1991. In this session, you’ll see how I worked with Elliot, even though I also held a strong belief in “root causes”. As you view it, ask yourself how you might work differently with a similar client and how you would go about disrupting the many urban myths about trauma that permeate the current therapy and self-help movements. After the session, he sent me the following email:
“Thanks once again for an amazing session. It was probably one of the best releases I have ever had especially regarding issues regarding my father. I decided to meditate shortly after our session and it was one of the best meditations I have experienced in a long time. It was effortless and extremely deep, feeling myself going in and out of consciousness. I liked your idea of bringing to mind all of my previous successes and absorbing them into my consciousness since I have always given myself very little credit for all of my accomplishments. I would definitely like to continue our sessions and I’ll let you know how things progress.”
Alison’s primary issue was to break her cycle of being so negative. As the session unfolded, it seemed to me, from the very beginning, that it was very difficult for her to feel her own feelings, especially positive ones. Following her lead, she eventually brought up her past history of abuse, which included a recollection of her mother trying to drown her. You’ll see the way I worked with her, and as you watch the video, do so with skepticism, asking yourself if this style of intervention feels useful in light of the new discoveries in Network Neuroscience.
As Alison and I were about to conclude the session, her husband joined into the conversation. Pay close attention to how our three-way conversation unfolded. When working with clients who are experiencing long bouts of emotional distress, it can be very helpful to include caring family members or friends who can help to reinforce the Relaxed Mindful Awareness strategies. Show them how to practice the “Streaming” process with each other. “Three weeks after this session, Alison sent me this email:
“Since our session, I have felt a freedom that I never really felt. The tips are working great! I am starting to REALLY enjoy life and the experience therein. I have been doing a ‘journal’ of my successes even the small ones. I write down an amount of positive and negative emotions throughout the day. It has been much more positive than negative (except for 2 days). I continue to have an excitement about life.”
Remember: Even if a coaching strategy is pseudoscientific, the empathic rapport you create with your client, coupled with Relaxed Mindful Awareness, will ensure a very positive outcome.
On Eric’s intake form, he desired to work with several traumatic events, and witnessing the death or injury of another person can easily lead to years of post-traumatic stress. The day before this recording, at Eric’s request, we had a long informal chat to ascertain if NeuroCoaching would be a suitable strategy to use. On his intake form, his #1 issue concerned a traumatic car accident that occurred when he was 16. A close friend was killed, and his own injuries forced him to abandon his soccer practice, which was the love of his life in high school. He wrote, on his intake form:
“My most important issue is to deal with the trauma of the car accident. There were a lot of feelings of guilt associated with the death of my friend, and I often thought, “Why not me?” I think I have a lot of blocked emotions and this caused me to lose all my money when I was day trading.”
Survivor guilt is a common reaction in situations where others around you are seriously injured or killed, and I felt that this is what we could focus on. But as you will see, when I started the session and asked him to intuitively talk about any new insights he gained from our chat, the session took a surprising turn. Instead of focusing on what most people would consider to be the most traumatic part of the event — the death of his friend — he chose to address the humiliation of having to give up his soccer practice. This is a long session, which is not unusual when working with intense emotional issues, and you need to allow extra time to find an intuitive place to stop. In my new approach, I limit the amount of recollection to just a few minutes and to then ask the client to work with the Relaxed Mindful Awareness strategies before the next session, especially the practice of “living in the present moment” as Eric will later mention.
PS: Many coaches and therapists can make a serious mistake by encouraging a client like Eric to explore feelings surrounding the death of their friend. I learned this lesson the hard way with another client who found the body of his girlfriend who violently killed herself. He didn’t bring it up, but had made great progress in his work (his stated concern). I encouraged him to do so in the third or fourth session, and half-way through his recollection, he went numb and ended the session early. He canceled the next session saying that he found no improvement whatsoever. I fully refunded him and never made that mistake again. The newest research confirms the risk of encouraging a client to explore past events that the coach/therapist thinks is important for healing. In many cases, it will make the client’s problems worse.
In this “follow-through” session with Eric, he wanted to focus on the emotional impact of having lost a great sum of money trading stocks and bonds. Two weeks after this session, I was surprised to find that Eric had publicly posted a testimonial on a large online Facebook community:
“I want to attest to the effectiveness of Mark’s NeuroCoaching. I had some traumas from a car accident I was in when I was 16. Despite having a lot of success in different areas of my life and reasons to be happy, most days are filled with fears, anxiety, depression and worry. I would always get to a certain point and kind of self-destruct. I felt like I was basically stuck. After the initial consultation and interview, I noticed a difference in my emotions and thoughts. I’ve had 2 sessions since then. Now my confidence is up, I’m energized for each day, and things that I lost interest in are bringing me joy and passion again. My initial thoughts are positive instead of negative. I’m able to live in the moment and enjoy life. It is almost as if someone flipped a light switch on in a dark room and I’m able to see what I couldn’t previously. Negative thoughts still come up but I’m able to quickly recognize and neutralize them instead of allowing them to linger. I use the exercises Mark taught me every day. They’re simple, easy, and do not take a lot of time. Even my business partner said he has noticed a considerable difference since the sessions.”
As many Certified NeuroCoaches will attest, if the client doesn’t do their “homework” of setting a mindfulness clock and practicing a few mindful yawns and stretches and focusing on inner values and present-moment experiences, very little improvement will be made.
In Carmen’s intake form, one sentence prominently stood out for me. She wrote: “I’ve never had any dreams or aspirations, but I like to help others. I want to start my life over.” The issues she wanted to address were clear: She wanted to stop replaying traumatic experiences from her past, and she had a lot of them: she grew up in an alcoholic family, she attempted suicide at age 8, a horse fell on top of her, nearly killing her. She was hit by a car, she abused drugs and alcohol from age 18-33, her brother committed suicide, and her father sexually abused her first child for 2 years. She also wanted to eliminate her destructive inner dialog, and she wanted to improve her self-image, self- confidence, and self-love, all common issues for people who have experienced these kinds of traumas in the past. In cases of repeated trauma and abuse, it’s very common for a young child to tune out and to disconnect from their dreams and aspirations. This is what I believe happened to Carmen.
The challenge was this: she knew that she couldn’t afford more than one session until her real-estate business got off the ground, so in these situations I try to teach the person as many self-help strategies as possible, showing them how to mindfully and neutrally observe negative thoughts and feelings, and how to consciously savor each and every positive memory and accomplishment in their life.
Twenty-five years ago, when Alton was in the Gulf War, his truck was blown up by a suicide bomber, and the trauma led him through many years of anger, depression, and suicidal attempts. Five years ago, he entered an experimental therapy program for disabled vets that integrated mindfulness practices. It was very effective, but recently several events in his life began to retrigger his PTSD symptoms, causing him to have angry outbursts toward his step-son. We agreed, at no charge, to have a couple of sessions to see if the new mindfulness and communication strategies of NeuroCoaching could help. We agreed to have a follow-up session to assess any improvement in his PTSD symptom, and to see if Alton could use these strategies to rebuild a loving connection with his step son.
This is the second session I conducted with Alton. My hope was to gather video evidence showing how relaxation and mindfulness might help alleviate combat PTSD, but it became clear that his previous mindfulness-based therapy severely reduced his crippling symptoms. When a client wants to explore a negative experience from the past, show them how to use their intuition to lead the way. Teach the person how to briefly dip in and out of any negative emotional experience, and at the end of each session, have your client mindfully reflect on any insights that occurred, to make a commitment to apply those insights on a daily basis, and to arrange some form of accountability with you. Maintain an email dialogue for several months. Here’s the email he sent me a month later:
“Aloha Mark, I want to touch base with you and let you know all is well. I am doing a lot better and I’ve only gotten steamed up once with Zac [his son] and it was not bad. It may have lasted maybe 5 minutes if that and I got over it. His mom was asking him to stop playing games and he was very disrespectful and went to 3rd base with her in a very disrespectful way. I stepped in and he stood up and thanked me for wanting to defend his turf. That is when I started to get really calm and laugh it off. I couldn’t help but to laugh and calm myself instantly. The gentle stroking of my hands and thinking of happy times with special people really helps, thank you. AMAZING!”
Michael George Hofrath spearheaded the trauma and somatic therapy program for the Save-A-Warrior Foundation in Malibu, helping combat veterans and first responders deal with the traumas they have experienced. We created this video to provide an initial template for adding NeuroCoaching strategies to their workshops. For those who are working toward advanced certification as a Trauma-Centered NeuroCoach (TCNC), use the 300+ in the TCNC course to make special presentations to the many trauma support groups that are sponsored by nonprofit organizations and government departments that work with combat veterans. There are also dozens of trauma “summits” and online conferences: Try to get invited to speak at as many as possible. Your knowledge will be greatly welcomed, making it easier for you to build your own trauma-centered workshops.
